Editorial: It’s A Jungle… ‘IN’ Here

It’s been a while since our last post. My sincerest apologies to you, the reader. I have to admit, our troubles started when I made a claim that our writing staff’s jobs were “so easy, even monkeys could do them.” Outraged and offended, the entire staff of Comedy So Serious! staged a walkout. Needless to say, productivity has hit an all-time low.

I keep telling him to give it a second to load, but…

Yes, times have been tough for your modest moderator of internet inanity. With a staff comprised mainly of ill-tempered Baboons–and one Gibbon–I’ve spent most of my days hiding under my desk, tossing binders into the office across from me to misdirect the pack of savage simians. And although I’ve had numerous ideas for titillating editorials, the sound of typing on my keyboard incites murderous rage from the eldest Baboon. Fortune smiled upon me, however, in the form of a phone call!

Different phone call…

I picked up the receiver as fast as I could so as not to alert the monkeys and whispered, “Sal’s Pizzeria & Crematorium: We bake for your wake…” As I listened to the chilling, crackled voice on the other end of the line, it became apparent who had called me…

My Publisher

DEADLINES!!!

My publisher failed to see the heroism of cracking jokes at a time like that–monkeying around while the monkeys are around, if you will… YES! Still got it!–and instead offered some constructive criticism regarding the site, most of which I completely agree with.

I can totally see where you’re coming from…

And after several long pauses and awkward interruptions, my publisher offhandedly mentioned that local animal-control had received reports about monkeys in the area. She informed me to avoid the office; I informed her that I voided my bowels in the office, and we hung up mutually reassured, I’m sure.

Editorial: Time Is Immaterial… Literally!

Time, perhaps the most overlooked non-renewable resource, waits for no one. As 2013 winds its way down, we here at Comedy So Serious! have found ourselves in a somewhat reflective mood, mainly when standing in front of the staff-lounge mirror.

Typical lunch-break in the Comedy So Serious! lounge.

With nary a dull moment, this bustling metropolis maintains a watchful eye on the clock of capital gain, seeking to monetize every minute of time’s generous and mysterious offering. As they say, “if it don’t make dollars, then it don’t make cents, so what’s the sense of wasting time?”

Time lapse gif of time… lapsing.

But what exactly is time? Modern physicists agree that, while most (if not all) humans share a common perception of it, when attempting to directly observe time there is nothing to be found and quantified as such.

Editorial: Really, Reality?

“What you see is what you get…” A popular turn of phrase, to be sure, but is it even remotely accurate? The answer: No. Perhaps a better wording would be, “what you see is what the F?”

My brain just shat itself.

The mind-melting scene above is the result of a process called anamorphosis. Using a projection technique combining multiple-point perspective, mathematics, and dark magics, the artist–or sorcerer–can achieve a stunning degree of three-dimensionality, rendering the cognitive abilities of the brain defenseless against misinformation.

From “a baseball” to “amazeballz” with a simple flick of the wrist.

Editorial: The Comedy So Serious! Team

The staff at Comedy So Serious! has requested that I, your humble editor and founder of this enterprise, introduce them more directly to you, the readers. Naturally, I resisted, but their persistent onslaught of melancholic glances, and loud, heavy-hearted sighs wore me down. And so, it is with reserved pleasure that I introduce to you the Comedy So Serious! team, in no particular order:

Deegan H. – Editor in Chief

Unrelenting journalistic integrity.

After many long years investigating the internet, your esteemed editor left his apartment and met several actual, living, breathing human beings at a local coffee-shop. Instantaneous synergy propelled a conversation into an idea, into an action, and finally into yet another relatively unimportant vortex on the infinite map of the interwebs.

Pablo V. III – MFA

After eight years as an undergraduate at an illustrious college, which for legal reasons requested not to be associated with the aforementioned, Pablo V. III then attended a community college workshop entitled, Art: Mastering the Masters.

No painting too big, no miniature too small… Critic Maestro Extraordinaire

Editorial: The Dreaded Cab Ride from Manhattan to BK

It was late. Almost ten p.m., and cold… low seventies. The first signs of winter’s relentless approach were upon us, and my wife and I needed shelter and immediate transport. There was only one problem… We live in Brooklyn.

“U gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me…”

Well aware of the stigma attached to asking a yellow-cab to leave the shimmering promise of big Manhattan dollars, we decided to face the nightmare head on. What we didn’t realize, however, was just how much we were in for.

Welcome to Comedy So Serious!

Here at Comedy So Serious!, we are dedicated to unwavering journalism in the face of catastrophic fails, epic lolz, and other grim reminders of this, our modern life. A knock-out team of reporters, critics, editorialists, and many others will be contributing weekly to our site, promising a varied and insightful glimpse into the absurd.

Your humble editor,

     Deegan H.

Disclaimer: Comedy So Serious! does not own any images, gifs, or videos unless otherwise specified. Links are provided, like so: (image via: here)