Monday Miasma # 15

Hark! I hear an angel sing! Wait… Nope. Not an angel. That was the “Harp” alarm setting on my phone. That’s right…

It’s Monday.

Time for my morning commute… into oblivion.

On this last Monday of 2013, we reluctantly arise, donning the bifocals of the bizarre and peering past the mundane into a familiar world populated by strangers.

“We’re ready for launch, Commander.”

Though the slight to our dignity and self worth is relatively meager, the cumulative effect of a lifetime of Monday mornings can be deadly. This is why we invite you to join us in the transmutation of tedium, where memes really do come true.

There’s a party in my nightmare and errybody’s invited!

So refresh your cup of coffee and plunge wholeheartedly into it, finding solace in its caffeinated inner-cosmos.

Do you take the red pill, or the sugar cubes?

Together, along with the intercession of the internets, we can transform this raw, bitter brew of toilsome tonic into something altogether ambrosial. Or… some approximation thereof.

Close enough!

Here’s to the swift passage of Monday!

Gifs via: here, here, here, and here. 

Comedy So Christmas!

Ladies and gentlemen, readers, skimmers, and browsers alike…

Welcome to Comedy So Serious!’s Christmas Spectacular!!!

All I want for Christmas is the pain to stop.

“Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the towns, children were winked at, responding with frowns.”

PedoClause!!!

“Such stockings were so hang, much stuffed with much gift. Very excitement. Such spirit, so lift.”

Rudolph the Wet Nosed Dogge

“When, suddenly, a sound rang out with such force, jarring and startling us from slumber’s sweet course. We rushed to the window, and what did we see? Jolly Saint Nick giving a kick to his steed!”

Monday Miasma # 14

Lo, and behold! The miasma of Monday is upon us once again!

If the workweek is a digestive track, then Monday is the primary cause of all allegorical acid-refulx.

Gimme a B! Gimme an A! Gimme a R! Gimme a F! What does that spell?!?!

The figurative face-plant that ensues scatters us in a myriad of directions, causing a small, invisible mutiny of motives within us. A hundred wishes wantonly wandering in different directions, seeking fulfillment that we intuit shan’t arrive.

“I’m up… I’m up. I’m down.”

And while we give our best at each juncture of challenge and opportunity, it seems that we are unable to perform the simple tasks required to function adequately.

Nailed it.

Wednesday Every Wednesday # 10

What’s that you say?!

It’s Wednesday?!?!

Dramatic chipmunk ain’t got nothing on her.

Yes, dear readers! Wednesday has arrived, bringing with it the sweet fragrance of Friday! The currents of our capitalistic confines are rapidly changing!

Very rapidly changing…

Today we deliver the sudden, fortuitous parry that thwarts the oncoming blow of the banal, sublimating our burdens into the potentiality of a weekend well spent!

Wednesday will knock you into next Thorsday!

With an animated tear in our frighteningly malformed faces, we await the sunset of the strained workweek. We’ve made it this far; there is only a short distance yet to be traveled by us, the worldweary and wondrous.

I’m so excited… and it’s literally impossible to hide it…

So rally your spirits! Gather your strength! And go forth into the fray! Before long, Friday will appear before us like the majestic unicorn of unrestraint that is!

“They see me rollin’, they hatin’…”

Gifs via: here, here, here, here, and here.. 

Gif Not Now, Then When # 16

Behold! The behemoth of boredom has reared its hideous head once again!

Custom reading glasses are so expensive.

It may seem that all we can do is hope and pray for a remedy to our humdrum routines, but that would be selling ourselves short. For the powers of intuition and intelligence are ever at our disposal!

Praydar activated!

We must awaken the 16 bit shark slumbering within each of us, and chomp down on the chum of the conventional!

The Great White Snark.

The search for power and inspiration must include the breaking of every block before us. The pursuit of profligacy must plunge into the depths of every pipe, taking us on a journey of unexplored underworlds.

Level Nic-thousand.

For inspiration, like a virulent virus, is contagious. The light we seek to radiate must emanate from within before it can be shared or seen by the world.

Transmission of the lamp.

Despite undo hardships, rigorous writer’s block, and delirium inducing doldrums, we must endure. Here’s hoping that this small measure of Gif-ery shakes lose a few leaves from the branches of the banal, dropping the acorns of awakening into the soil of creative satisfaction!

Gifs via: here, here, here, here, and here. 

Monday Miasma # 13

It’s everybody’s favorite day of the week… To despise and decry!

Monday!

You knew it was coming, yet somehow that didn’t make it any less diabolical…

If you’re anything like us here at Comedy So Serious! then you’re feeling a bit of the doldrums today, despite still being alive against all cosmic odds. The universe is not without its sadistic side, perfecting biological vessels of awareness and intelligence over the course of billions of years of evolutionary trial and error for what appears to be a swift kick in the pants.

Galaxies in motion.

We are, however, adaptive creatures, finding multitudinous methods to cope with the repetitious appearance of this most miasmic of weekdays. Among the various ways available to us for managing the stresses and suppositions placed upon us, we still strongly recommend the time honored tradition of freaking the fuck out, to use the parlance of our time.

We call this one: “The Capitalist’s Convulsion!”

Take a note from the page of the puerile, and let your inner child flail with all of the freedoms at your disposal! Monday’s corrosive cumulus cloud of monotony will pass in time, and although we can’t speed up the process, we might be able to lighten the load with some internet inanity!

Gifs via: here, here, and here. 

Freaky Friday (The 13th) # 11

It’s Friday… The 13th

Cue the requisite references!

Much like Jason Voorhees, all of us can relate to the burden of being dealt a raw deal. Who among us hasn’t walked under a ladder, our vision obscured due to the penumbra of an opened umbrella, and startled a black cat who in turn startled us, causing a chain reaction that culminated in the breaking of a mirror? Who, I ask you!

The only real curse for this is having to spend 7 years in the ER.

The troublesome toils of our tiresome efforts are, in mere hours, going to yield to a weekend of restorative relaxation. The convergence of a rapidly dwindling workweek and a culturally auspicious, maligned calendar date afford us an almost assuredly weird and wonderful weekend!

“Hee-Hee” (Haw)!!!

We here at Comedy So Serious! hope that you’re weekend is as memorable and majestic as this midget-mustang’s moonwalk!

Gifs via: here and here. 

Monday Miasma # 12

If you’re reading this, then it’s already too late. The workweek has begun anew, dispatching its most cruel and twisted mechanisms of mediocrity!

Monday in a nutshell.

Even the most graceful of parries seems to backfire, culminating in a loss of both dignity and… beverages.

Not my BEVERAGES!!!

The inescapable miasma of Monday doubles back on itself, returning again and again to rear its fearsome, familiar features.

Please… Make. It. Stop.

But, in spite of the indignities suffered and the injustices sustained, there is a silver lining. For in time, after facing the beast of boredom, the human spirit shall triumph! Inspiration and ingenuity will resurface, and we will find a way!

A Monday well spent, I’d say.

Here’s to the swift passage of the first day back at work! This cookie’s for you.

Gifs via: here, here, here, and here. 

Gif Not Now, Then When? # 15

For centuries, mankind has laid the groundwork for comedy by being ostentatious, pretentious, and diabolically misguided. With the advent of the internet, historians and Gif-makers alike finally have a chance to set the record straight.

PWNED!!!

Shocking as it may be, we find ourselves startled by the surprising events of the unexpected and unforeseen. If only we had seen it coming.

Extreme Closeup!

There is but one lifespan allotted to each of us, and it passes swiftly by, leaving only a wrinkle in time. Or, as the case may be, in face…

“Side effects may include epidermal drift…”

Freaky Friday # 10

 The rarefied falcon of Friday soars once again! With a swing in our sordid step, we meet what is perhaps the most beloved of all weekdays, for once again the horizon of freedom appears within reach! Enjoy the classic “Science Fiction Double Feature” introduction to “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” as a prelude to the bizarre, yet beneficent, weekend’s approach!

Here at Comedy So Serious!, our aim is to suss out the sublime, tossing the fledgling fish of mediocrity back into the murky waters of world-weariness, in the hopes of eliciting an expression like this:

Dear internet, you complete me. Love, everyone.

It’s often difficult to maintain our sense of well-being and artistic advantage, which is why we’re here to lend a helping hand. When you falter, we’ll be there to gently catch your cranium before it smashes to bits on the curb of capitalistic conquest!

Don’t say we never did nothin’ for ya…

The Comedy So Serious! team and I sincerely wish you a Friday of freaky fortune, and a weekend of wantonly weird winnings!

Gifs via: here and here.